June 14, 2011

All You Need Is Love Not Hate

WARNING: Language

Well, I don't really know why exactly I felt like posting about this, but it's really bugging me. I feel fueled to post about it. Have you heard of the communities Gyaru_Secrets and Lolita_Secrets? Yeah, I just did (atleast with the Gyaru one) today. I have to say, they fucking piss me off. I had never visited them before, and would like not to again, I also haven't visited them since I'm not at all into sporting Gyaru or Lolita fashion (I consider myself to be into Fairy Kei and Decora in terms of Japanese fashion).

  It shocked me. That someone would start a community (possibly in good spirit) and allow it to become this. I've heard of webpages on Facebook (and 'back in the day', Myspace) that were dedicated to hating on a particular person. I've heard of at least 3 cases of where this type of internet hate has lead to the person being ridiculed's suicide.

  Now, I know some of these are supportive, but the majority of them are highly negative and disgusting. The bad rules out the good. Imagine yourself just getting into a fashion, or just finally trying to become what you believe to be yourself or style, and you see this about you online. It would break my heart. I'm sure on the internet there has been at least one person who has considered me ugly. But I ignore that. Because there are people who support me and what I do. On the internet and in real life.

  Some of these post are made about girls who these people have never met. I dislike the fact that girls my age (or around it) are so catty. How does it benefit you? Does it make you feel good for about a second? Then it hits you you may have possibly hurt someones feelings, but it's too late, your comment about them is on the internet, forever.

So these are my words to you.

Don't listen to what people say
If something truly makes you happy, go for it
If you have doubts, or are feeling down, talk to someone you can trust, hell, talk to me (my e-mail is sovaryspecial@yahoo.com)
And be proud of yourself
Even if you feel you don't have things to be proud of about yourself, try to think of at least one thing you can be proud of

  I was lucky enough to have a aunt figure in my life (sadly, she passed away) who was very nice and loving. She always told me how beautiful I was, and what a good sense of fashion I had (also that she loved me). But this is what she told me that stuck with me. You may see people as 'ugly' or 'pretty' when you first meet them, but that can change when you talk with them. A girl you thought was pretty can become really ugly when you get to know her and find out she's mean, and a girls you might have thought was ugly will end up being beautiful because you found out she's nice. I know things along those lines have been said before, but since she as the first to say them to me, they were so inspiring.

  My best friend and I were talking a couple of days ago, and I told her how I was bullied in grade school. I realize for some people this is a hard topic to talk about, but for me it was normal. I knew in middle school I would be bullied. So I accepted it and brushed it off. The only time I ever cried from someone bullying me was once in the 6th grade. But that was it. Most people made fun of me for my stomach, which is malformed because of surgery I has when I was a baby. But I knew for that time, there was nothing I could do about it. I also knew that eventually, they would get bored of picking on me. I was right. One of the boys who did it even defended me in the 8th grade. A new kid asked him if I looked pregnant, and he looked him straight in the eye and said 'No.'. I didn't say anything, I hardly acknowledged it, but it still made me happy. When people make fun of you, try to ignore them and tough it out. They will get bored. My best friend told me I was tough, and I realized I was considering how most girls seem to act towards bullying (cyber or real life). Her words touched me too.

And in the words of Mama Monster herself
Don't hide yourself in regret
Just love yourself and you're set
I'm on the right track baby
I was born this way


P.S. Sorry if this seems so scrambled and scatter-brained, slightly anger fueled post